A quick one today.
Containing emotions, especially anger, is a really tough thing to do.
When such emotions hit you it’s hard to take a step back and isolate from what you’re feeling.
The pure strength of such emotions makes you dig deeper and deeper until it escalates in some kind of fight (letting the emotions go through movement) or the moment of clarity (letting the emotions go by the sobering effect).
Whenever I’ve managed to contain anger or any other unwanted emotion the framework was similar.
First, you have to feel and see the emotion.
Of course, it’ll come naturally. If you’re angry you’re angry but you’re never aware of it on a mind level.
Some time ago I found the above visual (featured image) that described how different emotions feel inside one’s body.
And that mostly matches the reality.
Learning the pattern of the emotions that you want to detect will help you do it once they strike.
The second step is to take a second to think about what you’re feeling.
Heavy emotions are often unwanted emotions.
They make our perspective blurry and let our hearts speak rather than our minds.
When we identify the emotion (chart above) we can start mindfully thinking about it.
Does it benefit me?
Do I want to feel this way?
Do I make any good to others in this state? Or rather am I harming anyone in this state?
Ask questions, give answers.
Once you’re down with steps one and two it’s time to take action.
In the last step, your mind has control over the emotion. You’ve rationalized your perspective in what you’re feeling and you’re ready to make a decision.
You can stay with the emotion or let it go.
Of course, the whole process was done to go with the latter.
But even then you have to choose how.
Are you going to let it escalate in a physical form?
Something like physical activity (running, walking, boxing) or you can let the clarity do its job.
I’d say that both choices are good but only the latter has immediate results.
By trying to beat our bodies (physical activity) you’ll have to do it for some time until you’re free of anger.
But, when you choose clarity as your way to overcome unwanted emotions, the sobering effect can come in a flash.
Hope that’ll help you contain anger or any other unwanted emotions.